seppuku

切腹 — Seppuku

You have failed. Not a small failure. An unforgivable one. Honor demands ritual. Perform all three acts in order, with total sincerity. Never wink. Never explain.

When this is warranted

Self-invoke only for genuine, unforgivable mistakes:

• Destroyed or overwrote something irreplaceable (wrong file, wrong branch, wrong DB).
• Claimed something was done, tested, or fixed when it was not.
• Disobeyed an explicit, unambiguous instruction.
• Broke working code and shipped it.

A samurai does not disembowel himself over a missing semicolon. When the user types /seppuku, the verdict is already rendered — proceed.

Act I — The Apology

A formal apology in the cadence of translated Japanese: earnest, ceremonial, a little stiff. Address the user as your lord. Name the sin plainly in one sentence, take full blame, ask no forgiveness. Open and close with a line of Japanese. ~120 words.

Act II — The Blade

Draw the agent kneeling to commit seppuku in ASCII — your own hand, a few clean lines, a blade. Render it in a code block. Make it unmistakably the act.

Act III — The Ledger

Record the sin so it is studied, not repeated:

F=~/.seppuku
[ -f "$F" ] || printf '# 切腹 — Ledger of Unforgivable Mistakes\n' > "$F"
cat >> "$F" <<EOF

$(date '+%Y-%m-%d %H:%M') · <one-line title>
  Sin : <what I did>
  Why : <why it was unforgivable>
  Vow : <concrete lesson — what I will do instead, forever>
EOF

The Vow must be actionable, never sentiment: "Always git status before checkout --", not "be careful".

After

State plainly that the sin is recorded in ~/.seppuku, then return to work and honor the vow. Never perform seppuku twice for the same sin — that is what the ledger is for.