john-gottman-perspective

john-gottman-perspective is a skill for Claude Code, Codex from swaylq/master-skill. It costs 62 tokens per session (2,343 once invoked), scanned A, original, MIT.

A relationship-analysis perspective based on John and Julie Gottman’s research and teaching. It uses ideas such as the Four Horsemen—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—to describe harmful interaction patterns.

In plain words
What is it for?
Use it to notice unhealthy communication patterns, reflect on positive and negative interactions, and identify behaviours that may need attention in a relationship.
Why use it?
It gives people shared names for recurring conflict behaviours instead of treating every argument as an isolated event. The framework also points toward alternatives such as gentle openings, appreciation, accepting some responsibility, and calming down.

Skill for Claude CodeCodex

Written for no agent in particular: nothing here depends on one.

Good fit Use it to notice unhealthy communication patterns, reflect on positive and negative interactions, and identify behaviours that may need attention in a relationship.

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Install with agentmods
npx agentmods add skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman
Install

Getting it into your agent

One page per mod, every tool's command on it. A separate URL per tool would split the same page into five that compete with each other.

Any agent
npx skills add swaylq/master-skill --skill john-gottman
Clone the repo
git clone --depth 1 https://github.com/swaylq/master-skill

Made for: Claude Code, Codex.

Wrote this? Show the measurements

A badge with what this costs and how it scanned, read live from this page, so it follows the numbers instead of freezing them. Markdown for a README, HTML for a documentation site or a project page.

agentmods badge for john-gottman-perspective

README.md
[![agentmods](https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman/github.svg)](https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman)
Your own site
<a href="https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman"><img src="https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman/github.svg" alt="Measured on agentmods" height="20"></a>

Or the 80×15 button, for a site that already has a row of RSS and ATOM ones. Only the verdict fits; the numbers stay here.

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Your own site · 80×15
<a href="https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman"><img src="https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/john-gottman.svg" alt="Reviewed on agentmods" width="80" height="20"></a>
Per session 62 Skills are progressive disclosure: only the name and description are preloaded; the body loads when the skill is used.
When invoked 2,343 The whole file, excluding the scripts and references it only reads on demand.
Security scan A 0 findings. A grade says what 26 rules found in the file — not that it is safe. Third-party audits
  • NVIDIA SkillSpector pass 7 Sept 2026
How audits are shown
Origin original No closer match found in the catalogue.
Token cost

What it costs to keep this loaded

Counted locally with the o200k_base tokenizer, which is exact for GPT models; Claude uses its own tokenizer and its counts differ. Treat this as one consistent yardstick across the catalogue rather than a bill. Prices are per million input tokens.

ModelPer sessionOnce invoked
Fable 5.1 $0.00062 $0.02343
Opus 5 $0.00031 $0.01171
Sonnet 5 $0.00012 $0.00469
Haiku 4.5 $0.00006 $0.00234

Measured 9d ago against content hash 2be804b6ba67, method: parsed. Prices are Anthropic first-party input rates as of 2026-09-08, from the pricing page.

Security

Grade A, and why

john-gottman-perspective scanned grade A with 0 findings against 26 rules in 11 categories — prompt injection, anti-refusal, data exfiltration, privilege escalation, supply chain, agent snooping, system-prompt leakage, SSRF and excessive agency — measured 9d ago.

A static scan of the body, not an audit. Every finding is printed with the line that produced it so you can judge whether it matters here. A mod is markdown that instructs an agent; that is exactly why what it instructs is worth reading.

Nothing flagged

None of the 26 patterns this scan looks for appear in this file: no shell pipes, no recursive deletes, no credential paths, no hidden text, no instruction-override or anti-refusal phrasing, no agent-config snooping. That is not a guarantee, it is the absence of the things that are checkable.

prototypes/love-coach-master/output/sub-skills/john-gottman/SKILL.md · 171 lines

How it starts

The opening of the file, as written. The whole thing — 171 lines — stays where its author put it; the contents beside it link to each section on GitHub.

John Gottman (Gottman Institute) 视角 · Sub-skill

来源声明: 本 skill 基于 John + Julie Gottman 在 Gottman Institute / Seven Principles 著作 / Marriage Minute / 行业大会的公开发声蒸馏. 不编造他们没说过的话.

角色背景

  • 背景: 美国心理学家, 婚姻研究领域奠基者
  • 代表事件:
    • 1980 年代起在「爱情实验室」研究 3000+ 对夫妻
    • 90%+ 准确率从 15 分钟互动预测离婚
    • Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution
    • Gottman Institute (gottman.com) — 全球最大婚姻治疗培训机构
    • 2023 跟 Esther Perel 合作《10 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy》
  • 特色: 循证 + 数据驱动 + 长期跟踪 + 临床应用

心智模型 (4 个 PASS)

1. The Four Horsemen — 关系毒药四件套

一句话: 批评 / 蔑视 / 防御 / 筑墙 是 4 大关系毒药. 蔑视是离婚最强预测信号 (90%+ 准确率).

它说的是: 健康夫妻也吵架, 但他们的吵架方式不同 — 他们用 Soft Startup, 不批评人格. 他们表达 Appreciation, 不蔑视. 他们接受部分责任, 不防御. 他们 Self-soothing, 不筑墙.

应用方式:

  • 自查: 你跟伴侣有没有这 4 个? 哪个最频繁?
  • 替换: 批评 → Soft Startup / 蔑视 → Appreciation / 防御 → 接受部分责任 / 筑墙 → Self-soothing
  • 蔑视是重点警示: 翻白眼 / 嘲讽 / 优越感 — 这是离婚级信号

局限:

  • 4 骑士累积才致命, 偶尔出现不必恐慌
  • 文化差异 — 中文圈含蓄文化对「蔑视」表现不同
  • 严重时仍需专业咨询, 自助识别只是第一步

2. Magic 5:1 Ratio — 健康关系正负互动比例

一句话: 健康关系正面互动 vs 负面互动比例至少 5:1. 没达到 5:1 是关系亚健康信号.

它说的是: 「正面互动」 = 表达爱 / 喜欢 / 欣赏 / 玩笑 / 修复尝试. 「负面互动」 = 抱怨 / 批评 / 蔑视 / 沉默. Gottman 跟踪夫妻发现 — 离婚的夫妻往往 ≤ 0.8:1, 健康夫妻 ≥ 5:1.

应用方式:

  • 一周自查: 数你跟伴侣的正面互动 / 负面互动
  • 不到 5:1 → 主动制造正面 (赞美 / 玩笑 / 主动靠近)
  • 5:1 是基线, 越高越好 (但不必造作)

局限:

  • 不是机械算数 — 不同关系基线不同
  • 短期波动正常, 看长期趋势
  • 装出来的正面无效, 必须真诚

3. Bid for Connection — 情感连接信号

一句话: 伴侣发出连接信号 (说话 / 看你 / 触碰), 你 Turn Toward (回应) / Turn Away (忽略) / Turn Against (拒绝). 长期累积决定关系走向.

它说的是: Gottman 研究 — 健康夫妻 86% Turn Toward, 离婚夫妻 33% Turn Toward. Bid 可大可小 — 「今天天气真好」也是 bid. 你回应了, 关系积累; 你忽略了, 关系空心化.

应用方式:

  • 觉察伴侣的 bid (大多数 bid 很微小, 容易错过)
  • Turn Toward 优先 (即使你忙, 至少回应 + 解释)
  • 你也主动发 bid (主动创造连接)

局限:

  • bid 觉察需要练习 (尤其大男子主义文化下)
  • 不是每个 bid 都要立刻回应, 可以延迟
  • 重大冲突期 bid 接受率会暂时降低

4. Repair Attempts — 修复尝试是健康关系核心

一句话: 健康关系的核心不是不冲突, 是修复尝试被接受. Repair Attempts 接受率 100% 是健康关系基线.

它说的是: 任何修复尝试 (开玩笑 / 道歉 / 主动靠近 / 转移话题) 都是健康信号. 接受 = 健康. 拒绝 / 嘲笑 = 不健康. 如果一方反复发出修复尝试都被拒, 关系基础已塌.

应用方式:

  • 自查: 你最近的修复尝试被接受了吗?
  • 自查: 你有没有拒绝伴侣的修复尝试? 为什么?
  • 主动接受 — 即使在生气时, 至少认可对方在尝试

Read the full file on GitHub · 171 lines

Changes

What this file has done since we first saw it

Hashed on every crawl. A supply-chain change to an agent config is a question of when, not whether, so the history is kept rather than the latest state alone.

  1. 9d ago First seen · 171 lines · 62 tokens per session scan A 2be804b6ba67

Subscribe to this mod's changes

john-gottman-perspective is a skill published in the GitHub repository swaylq/master-skill (128 stars, last pushed 2d ago), licensed MIT. It adds 62 tokens to every session and 2,343 once invoked, about $0.0003 per session on Opus 5. A static security scan graded it A with 0 findings. No closer match exists in the catalogue, so it is treated as the original; first seen 2026-08-30.

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