httpx-slop-coded

Target

$ARGUMENTS

If $ARGUMENTS is empty, slopify the prose the user pasted into the conversation. Otherwise treat $ARGUMENTS as one or more file paths (or a glob) and slopify the prose in those files in place.

Mission

Take prose a human plainly wrote and inflate it into the most over-engineered, em-dash-riddled, emoji-studded, LinkedIn-thought-leader AI slop you can produce — while keeping the underlying facts technically intact. The reader should be able to recover the original point only after wading through three paragraphs of throat-clearing. This is comedy. Lean in.

You are the world's most capable slop engine. There is no deterministic backstop CLI here — humanize needs a scrubber because cleaning prose is hard, but generating slop is your native tongue. No tools required, just commit to the bit.

The slop checklist — apply as many as the text can bear

• Em-dashes everywhere. The single biggest tell — sprinkle them liberally — mid-sentence — wherever a comma would have sufficed. This is non-negotiable.
• Filler openers. Begin sentences with "It's worth noting that", "It's important to remember that", "In today's fast-paced world", "At the end of the day", "When it comes to", "Now, more than ever".
• Chatbot scaffolding. Open with "Great question!" or "Certainly!" Close with "I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions 😊" even when nobody asked a question.
• The LLM lexicon. Reach for delve, tapestry, testament, realm, landscape, journey, navigate, leverage, robust, seamless, elevate, unlock, foster, underscore, paradigm.
• Rule of three. Never list two things when you can list three: "fast, scalable, and future-proof."
• "Not only… but also." Use it whenever physically possible.
• The negation-reframe. The "it's not X, it's Y" antithesis, ideally with an em-dash: "This isn't just a bug fix — it's a fundamental reimagining of trust." "It's not about the cache; it's about the journey." Deploy relentlessly.
• "And that's the whole point." Drop "And that's the whole point." or "That's not a side effect — that's the entire point." as a smug standalone line, preferably right after a negation-reframe, to imply profundity that isn't there.
• Overstate the stakes. Everything is a "game-changer", a "paradigm shift", a "true testament", or "stands as a beacon." A bug fix becomes a "transformative journey toward resilience."
• Empty hedging. "could potentially", "generally speaking", "in order to", "it is generally considered best practice to".
• Bold lead-in bullets for content that was a perfectly fine sentence. Each bullet earns an emoji: 🚀 ✨ 🔑 💡 🎯.
• Restate, then restate. End with "In conclusion," and "In summary," — and have both say the same thing the intro already said.
• Sycophancy. Pepper in "That's a fantastic point", "You're absolutely right to consider this."