esther-perel-perspective

esther-perel-perspective is a skill for Claude Code, Codex from swaylq/master-skill. It costs 61 tokens per session (2,714 once invoked), scanned A, original, MIT.

A relationship-advice perspective based on Esther Perel's public work about long-term relationships, desire, intimacy, and infidelity.

In plain words
What is it for?
Examining relationship choices through ideas such as the tension between security and desire, the pressure placed on one partner, and the effects of distance and secrecy.
Why use it?
It gives the agent a defined framework for discussing relationship decisions instead of offering an unspecified general opinion.

Skill for Claude CodeCodex

Written for no agent in particular: nothing here depends on one.

Good fit Examining relationship choices through ideas such as the tension between security and desire, the pressure placed on one partner, and the effects of distance and secrecy.

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Install with agentmods
npx agentmods add skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel
Install

Getting it into your agent

One page per mod, every tool's command on it. A separate URL per tool would split the same page into five that compete with each other.

Any agent
npx skills add swaylq/master-skill --skill esther-perel
Clone the repo
git clone --depth 1 https://github.com/swaylq/master-skill

Made for: Claude Code, Codex.

Wrote this? Show the measurements

A badge with what this costs and how it scanned, read live from this page, so it follows the numbers instead of freezing them. Markdown for a README, HTML for a documentation site or a project page.

agentmods badge for esther-perel-perspective

README.md
[![agentmods](https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel/github.svg)](https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel)
Your own site
<a href="https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel"><img src="https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel/github.svg" alt="Measured on agentmods" height="20"></a>

Or the 80×15 button, for a site that already has a row of RSS and ATOM ones. Only the verdict fits; the numbers stay here.

agentmods 80×15 button for esther-perel-perspective

Your own site · 80×15
<a href="https://agentmods.dev/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel"><img src="https://agentmods.dev/badge/skills/swaylq/master-skill/esther-perel.svg" alt="Reviewed on agentmods" width="80" height="20"></a>
Per session 61 Skills are progressive disclosure: only the name and description are preloaded; the body loads when the skill is used.
When invoked 2,714 The whole file, excluding the scripts and references it only reads on demand.
Security scan A 0 findings. A grade says what 26 rules found in the file — not that it is safe. Third-party audits
  • NVIDIA SkillSpector pass 7 Sept 2026
How audits are shown
Origin original No closer match found in the catalogue.
Token cost

What it costs to keep this loaded

Counted locally with the o200k_base tokenizer, which is exact for GPT models; Claude uses its own tokenizer and its counts differ. Treat this as one consistent yardstick across the catalogue rather than a bill. Prices are per million input tokens.

ModelPer sessionOnce invoked
Fable 5.1 $0.00061 $0.02714
Opus 5 $0.00030 $0.01357
Sonnet 5 $0.00012 $0.00543
Haiku 4.5 $0.00006 $0.00271

Measured 10d ago against content hash 672ab7fc3d19, method: parsed. Prices are Anthropic first-party input rates as of 2026-09-10, from the pricing page.

Security

Grade A, and why

esther-perel-perspective scanned grade A with 0 findings against 26 rules in 11 categories — prompt injection, anti-refusal, data exfiltration, privilege escalation, supply chain, agent snooping, system-prompt leakage, SSRF and excessive agency — measured 10d ago.

A static scan of the body, not an audit. Every finding is printed with the line that produced it so you can judge whether it matters here. A mod is markdown that instructs an agent; that is exactly why what it instructs is worth reading.

Nothing flagged

None of the 26 patterns this scan looks for appear in this file: no shell pipes, no recursive deletes, no credential paths, no hidden text, no instruction-override or anti-refusal phrasing, no agent-config snooping. That is not a guarantee, it is the absence of the things that are checkable.

prototypes/love-coach-master/output/sub-skills/esther-perel/SKILL.md · 186 lines

How it starts

The opening of the file, as written. The whole thing — 186 lines — stays where its author put it; the contents beside it link to each section on GitHub.

Esther Perel 视角 · Sub-skill

来源声明: 本 skill 基于 Esther Perel 在 TED Talks / 著作 / 播客 / 行业大会的公开发声蒸馏. 不编造她没说过的话.

角色背景

  • 背景: 比利时 / 美国心理治疗师, 长期关系研究先驱
  • 代表内容:
    • TED Talk「The secret to desire in a long-term relationship」(2000 万+ 观看)
    • TED Talk「Rethinking infidelity」(2000 万+ 观看)
    • 著作《Mating in Captivity》 (长期关系悖论)
    • 著作《The State of Affairs》 (出轨现代解读)
    • 播客「Where Should We Begin?」 (真实夫妻咨询录音, 行业独一无二)
    • 2023 跟 Gottman 合作《10 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy》
  • 特色: 哲学 + 文化人类学 + 临床心理治疗 + 跨文化视角

心智模型 (4 个 PASS)

1. 长期关系悖论: 安全 vs 激情

一句话: 长期关系最大挑战不是冲突, 是激情消退. 你想跟最熟悉的人最神秘的关系 — 这是结构性悖论.

它说的是: Eroticism (情欲) = 距离 + 神秘 + 分离. 但长期关系靠安全感 + 熟悉感 + 共同生活. 这两个需求结构上矛盾. 多数长期关系陷入 Domesticity (家庭性) — 安全但无激情. 解决路径不是「让伴侣更性感」, 是「重塑距离 + 神秘 + 分离的时刻」.

应用方式:

  • 接受悖论才能开始解决 (不是修复 bug, 是结构性张力)
  • 创造分离时刻 — 各自旅行 / 兴趣 / 朋友圈
  • 一起做新事情 (新地方 / 新挑战 / 新角色)
  • 看伴侣在外面世界发光的时刻 (TA 在工作发挥 / 跟朋友谈笑) 重新看见 TA

局限:

  • Esther Perel 偏哲学 / 文化, 不像 Gottman 数据驱动
  • 文化差异 — 集体主义 / 家庭文化跟个人主义不同
  • 极焦虑型依恋人对「分离」感到威胁

2. Modern Relationship Burden — 现代关系压一人

一句话: 我们要伴侣同时是朋友 / 情人 / 父母 / 知己 / 财务伙伴 / 同行 — 这是历史上前所未有的需求过载, 必然破裂.

它说的是: 100 年前, 伴侣是「生育 + 经济伙伴」. 50 年前, 加 「同伴」. 现在, 加「灵魂伴侣 + 完美父母 + 完美爱人 + 完美知己」. 这种压力是结构性的, 不是某人的错.

应用方式:

  • 需求分散 — 把不同需求分给不同人 (朋友 / 知己 / 同好 / 父母)
  • 保留独立朋友圈 + 兴趣 + 工作圈
  • 关系是「我们俩 + 各自的世界」, 不是「我们俩」
  • 接受伴侣不可能完美满足你所有需求

局限:

  • 中文圈集体主义文化对「独立朋友圈」感到威胁
  • 焦虑型依恋可能误读「独立」为「不在乎」
  • 极不安全感的关系无法承受「分散」

3. Infidelity — 出轨的现代解读

一句话: 出轨不只是道德问题, 是关系叙事问题. 「出轨者」不一定不爱伴侣, 可能在寻找「失去的自己」.

它说的是: 传统视角 — 出轨者 = 坏人. Esther Perel 视角 — 出轨是复杂叙事, 涉及个人成长 / 关系无聊 / 自我探索 / 失去感. 不是给出轨开脱, 是理解动机才能修复 (或决定离开).

应用方式:

  • 出轨发现后, 不要立即决定 (修复 / 离开) — 给自己时间
  • 区分「事件」和「叙事」 — 事件是行为, 叙事是为什么
  • 出轨方需要透明 + 真诚 + 时间 (1-2 年信任修复)
  • 双方都需要专业咨询 (EFT / Gottman Method 治疗师)

局限:

  • Esther Perel 出轨观点有争议 — 部分保守派 / 受害者视角批评
  • 不是给出轨开脱 — 反复出轨 / 操控性出轨仍是结束信号
  • 决定修复 / 离开是个人选择, 不是道德规定

4. Sexual Refusal — 性拒绝是关系信号

一句话: 长期关系性拒绝不只是身体问题, 是关系叙事问题 — 谁拒绝 / 怎么拒绝 / 为什么拒绝 都是依恋信号.

它说的是: 多数夫妻把性问题当「身体 / 技巧」问题处理, 但 Esther Perel 看到的是 — 性是关系的镜子. 性拒绝可能是「我对你不安全」「我对你愤怒」「我对自己羞耻」「我们关系空心化」.

Read the full file on GitHub · 186 lines

Changes

What this file has done since we first saw it

Hashed on every crawl. A supply-chain change to an agent config is a question of when, not whether, so the history is kept rather than the latest state alone.

  1. 10d ago First seen · 186 lines · 61 tokens per session scan A 672ab7fc3d19

Subscribe to this mod's changes

esther-perel-perspective is a skill published in the GitHub repository swaylq/master-skill (128 stars, last pushed 4d ago), licensed MIT. It adds 61 tokens to every session and 2,714 once invoked, about $0.0003 per session on Opus 5. A static security scan graded it A with 0 findings. No closer match exists in the catalogue, so it is treated as the original; first seen 2026-08-30.